Scared of Santa? Definitely

12-7-2009 National:

While in the book store the other day, a book seemed to leap off the shelf at me.
It spoke directly to my life, my American experience. It’s a book that depicts a holiday tradition so many of us have shared. It’s called "Scared of Santa: Scenes of Terror in Toyland," by Denise Joyce and Nancy Watkins.

This is a touching photo compilation of that moment when an innocent babe sits upon Santa’s knee, realizes that their parents have handed them off to a white-haired stranger with type-2 diabetes, and responds (rationally, I might add) by screaming bloody murder. I recommend flipping through the pages of "Scared of Santa" as you roast chestnuts.

My own children had moments of abject holiday horror in the local mall. My favorite holiday Santa moment occurred when the only way I could get the picture was to sit on the Jolly Old Elf’s lap while holding my toddler. Said toddler, wailing and red-faced, contorted his body and grasped for some off-camera savior. No help would come. I suppose I could have skipped the photo session but I’d already paid $9.99.

Flip through the pages of "Scared of Santa" and you’ll find children trying to beat Santa back with a candy cane, twins howling in shared rage, or the ever popular crying little brother on one Kringle-Knee while big sister sits on the other Kringle-Knee laughing. Ah, memories.

The fear is to be expected. All year we warn them of stranger danger. And in general it is good policy to avoid men in velvet suits with free candy. But then, once a year we drop this one on them.

"Johnny, this time it’s okay. You’re going to sit on that old man’s knee, he’s going to bounce you a few times, and ask you a few questions. If you answer correctly you’ll be allowed to tell him your secret holiday wish. Now stop crying, it’s your turn."

To avoid the Santa Terrors parenting experts suggest familiarity could help. I read that wearing a Santa hat around the house in advance of the picture might work. This year you also might consider outfitting the child with a surgical mask to minimize the risk of H1N1. Imagine how lovely that picture will look in the holiday frame!

"Scared of Santa" could be the explanation for the scene I wandered into the other day. I was parked in the mall garage. Next to my car was a white van. Behind the wheel of the van was a sleeping Santa Claus. I wanted to snap a picture with my cell phone because Santa sleeping in his van in the mall parking — funny right? It could have been my Christmas card.

But then I thought better of it. The guy was taking a break after a morning of candy cane assaults and temper tantrums. He needed a rest. And really what kind of list do you get on if you wake up Santa while he naps? Naughty for sure. ..Source.. Rebecca Regnier is an award-winning television journalist