FL- Figures: Victim Often Knows Abuser

11-15-2009 Florida:

by Shoshana Walter

Never take candy from a stranger. Those are wise words for children.

But professionals who work with child sex abuse victims say those concerns are overemphasized.

Of the 129 child sexual abuse cases the Polk County Sheriff's Office investigated in 2007 and 2008, 94 percent of the abusers knew their victims. Children should be taught to be wary of an approaching stranger, experts say, but the truth is that a child abuser is more likely to live under the same roof as the child.

Why aren't people more aware of this fact?

Richard Brimer has counseled sex offenders and victims in Lakeland for more than 20 years. He says media coverage of particularly salacious stranger-danger scenarios have captured nationwide attention and become the focus of misguided legislators.

Instead of focusing on rehabilitation and treatment, which reduces recidivism, Brimer says many current laws focus more on monitoring and restricting offenders who are released.

That might sound safe to a public more familiar with national headlines about strangers assaulting young children, but those laws don't prevent a trusted adult from touching a child, he said.

Brimer and others say prevention education could help.

In many households, talking about inappropriate touching is taboo. But unless that subject is broached, a child who is being abused may not even know to come forward, said Dionne Hodgson of the Children's Home Society, a nonprofit child welfare agency based in Bartow.

"If you're spanked every day, or physically abused on a daily basis, you may not know that other kids aren't getting that same thing," Hodgson said. Sexual abuse is the same. "If it's part of their daily life or what happens at their home, they may not realize that the abuse that happens with them doesn't happen to all the other kids. So it may just be normal to them."

Brimer says prevention education is also important for those who feel urges to abuse but have yet to act.

An individual clinically diagnosed as a pedophile may never lose his or her attraction to children, he says, but a counselor can teach an individual how to change and control his or her behavior, to understand the repercussions of abusive behavior on others, and how to successfully handle and manage the urges.

Most offenders are not diagnosed as pedophiles, Brimer said.

Their impulses may be caused by underlying psychological problems, and can be treated with therapy. But social stigma and embarrassment can prevent those people from coming forward. Counseling can keep a potential abuser from acting upon his or her desires.

The answer to this problem? Don't be a stranger.

Hodgson says community organizations and groups, families and friends can help by being open to honest talk, and once someone has come forward with those concerns, by helping them seek treatment.

This is especially true for young victims.

"They need the grown-ups and the adults in the community to really step up for them, getting involved and teaching kids what is right," Hodgson said. "If you find out about your friend, tell somebody. You might feel like you're betraying your friend, but hopefully it helps to stop the abuse." ..Source..