IN- Victims often know their sexual abusers

10-20-2009 Indiana:

Part 1 of a Herald Special Report

What does a sex offender look like? Do they dress a certain way? Live in a certain area? Would you know one if you met one?

Sexual abuse and pedophilia are in every lifestyle, every economic stratus, every race, every religion,’ said psychologist Cathy L. Clover, New Castle, who treats sexual offenders.

There is no set appearance or behavioral cue, she said.

’I suspect that we don’t hear about it from the affluent because they do have the ability to keep it quiet. But it is absolutely in every economic group, every profession that you can think of.’

She said it cuts across every population, and in about the same numbers.

Psychologist Dr. Mark Goral, Sharon, said sex offenders can show up in certain circumstances more often, ’but we’ve got to be careful of a stereotype.’

Goral and Ms. Clover both stress the tendency for sexual abuse to occur within the family. It’s not what society prefers to imagine, Clover said, but most kids are molested by someone they know and trust.

’People trust their neighbors, they trust their family members, they trust the people in their neighborhoods because they spend time with them. They don’t anticipate they’ll molest their kids,’ she said.

This year in Mercer County, two major sexual abuse cases went before sentencing court. In one, a stepdaughter described how her ’normal father’ had taken her hunting, fishing, and taught her to work on cars.

He had also sexually assaulted her and her sister over the course of years.

’What I want to know is, when I was laying there and you were raping me as a 7-year-old girl, what were you thinking?’ she asked her stepfather in court.

In another case, a family friend who had performed songs in church with a girl five years younger than himself was sentenced for raping her during walks in the woods over a period of years, starting when she was 7 or 8 and he was 13.

Sometimes families propagate a tradition of sexual abuse through generations, Goral said. The acts are hidden because of shame and embarrassment. Often in his evaluations of victims, Goral said they will tell him they were told to keep their mouths shut.

Location can also affect how easy sexual abuse is to hide, Goral said. In rural areas where people are physically disconnected from others, it may be easier to carry on the scheming and manipulation needed to hide abuse, Goral said.

Anyone strongly suspicious of sexual abuse should call Children and Youth Services, he said. It can be done anonymously, and he said it’s an agency people can rely on. ..Source.. by Matt Snyder, Herald Staff Writer