VT- Is your teen sexting?

1-11-2009 Vermont:

When a South Burlington high school student was charged with sexual assault on two fellow students who had sent him nude photos on their cell phones last month, Vermont was forced to respond not only to disturbing allegations of rape but also to one of its first public cases of the national trend known as “sexting.”

Schools, parents and police around the country have been grappling with the trend for more than a year, and some observers were not surprised to see the behavior coming into the Vermont spotlight.

“This has been going on locally for a couple of years now,” said Jennifer Mitchell, vice president of Child Lures Prevention/Teen Lures Prevention in Shelburne. “We’ve actually had parents telling us that their sons were receiving messages on their phones just like this, from girls with their shirts off.”

Some teens send the graphic photos of themselves to boyfriends, and some teens send them to prospective boyfriends or girlfriends in a graphic update of the old calling card. Either way, the images might meet the legal definition of child pornography, and the trend is raising moral and legal dilemmas along with a heavy dose of good old-fashioned shock.

Mitchell, who leads sex abuse prevention efforts at schools around the country, recalled the day when a mother walked into her Shelburne office to explain that her son had received a graphic cell phone picture message from a girl who wanted to date the teen. “She was really taken aback that high school girls would do this to get a date with a guy,” Mitchell said.

Her message to parents and teens is simple. “We need to talk openly about this. Schools need to address it.”

Just how common is sexting? Not rampant, but not rare, according to a national poll. About 22 percent of teen girls and 18 percent of teen boys have electronically sent or posted online nude or semi-nude pictures or videos of themselves, according to the Sex and Tech survey by The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy and CosmoGirl.com

Some said they sent the messages to be sexy, flirty or silly. A few said they felt pressured to sext.

The affidavit in the Vermont rape case against 17-year-old Isaac Owusu, who has pleaded innocent, includes details about sexting between the boy and the two girls, ages 14 and 15, he allegedly assaulted in a South Burlington high school equipment room near the gym. One girl sent pictures of herself voluntarily to Owusu; the other said she felt pressured to do so, according to court papers.

Advocates for sexual assault victims say sexting is irrelevant in cases of rape and statutory rape — if someone is underage or says no, that’s what matters.

That viewpoint is totally absent, though, from an Internet site that Owusu’s friends set up to rally support for a young man they believe is innocent. The wall at the social networking site Facebook.com lists three South Burlington High School students as captain and administrators and urges Owusu’s supporters to attend his next court hearing Jan. 30.

By Friday, the page had 29 posts defending Owusu and none in support of the victims, who were derided as liars, “sexting hoes” and worse. “I don’t know who these chicks are, but they definitely have a reason to be worried about their reputation now,” said one post.

South Burlington school officials are tight-lipped about the incident and the school’s response to it. Patrick Burke, school principal, said in an e-mail response to questions that the issue of so-called sexting and the alleged sexual assault are separate.

Adults and kids might make ill-advised decisions, but these decisions “in no way should be seen, even remotely, excusing the alleged abhorrent behavior of another person,” Burke wrote.

He added: “As a school, we will continue to address the issues of sexual violence, appropriate use of technology and decision-making as separate and important issues. We have in the past and will redouble our efforts to have local and national experts help us as we teach our kids about these and other important civic and social topics.”

Students may know of the sexting trend, but many parents were surprised to hear of it.

“The first I ever heard of that phrase was when that boy was arrested. I’d never heard of it before and didn’t know anything about it,” said Cindy Boardman, whose 16-year-old son is a student at South Burlington High School.

The allegations prompted Boardman to have a conversation with her son, reminding him that there is a reason for parents to keep track of who their children are communicating with on their cell phones. “I said, ‘I don’t want to ever find out that you’re getting those pictures or sending pictures,’ so we did have a conversation about it.”

She finds it difficult to fathom why teens are sexting.

“Peer pressure — I know that that’s out there — but I still am blown away by the fact that these girls do this thinking that if they didn’t they would be treated differently,” Boardman said. “I don’t know, I don’t get it.”

The incident is a reminder that parents have to keep up with what their kids are doing, said Tom Stout of South Burlington whose 17-year-old son is a senior at the school. “I think a lot of the responsibility goes back to the parents’ not being involved enough in what their kids are doing with these newfangled toys.”

Stout has confidence in his son’s decision-making, but even so, asked to see the teen’s cell phone and computer in the wake of the Owusu story. Stout does not buy the familiar teen-age protest, “Stop invading my privacy.” His retort: “B.S. it’s your privacy; I pay the bill.”

Parents should not hesitate to check up on their children in this way, he said, even if the children are in high school and almost ready to leave the nest. “Society in general has come to the point where kids are sissified,” Stout said. “They are not held responsible for what they do.”

He’s at the school regularly as a booster who volunteers at sporting events and also knows many teens from coaching over the years. Based on his conversations with students, Stout says he thinks sexting is not isolated to two or three students. It’s worrisome, and it is indeed happening, he said. “There’s no doubt,” Stout said.

The media are saturated with sexual images, so in some ways it’s not surprising that teens are exposing themselves in this way, he said. Still, Stout said, it’s wrong, and parents are doing the right thing when they look at their children’s cell phone texts and photos. “I’ve got a feeling there’s probably been a lot of phones cleaned up in the last week or so.” ..News Source.. by Molly Walsh