WI- United Way program helps women deal with partners' sex offenses

12-29-2008 Wisconsin:

Sex offenders can count their wives and girlfriends among the survivors of their crimes. Therapists say these women often feel blindsided and betrayed by their partners' behaviors.

In Connections for Family Safety, a program of Reach Counseling Services Inc. in Menasha, the women work through their hurts and find healing as their partners undergo treatment for committing sex offenses against children.

"If they want to believe their partners can heal, there is a huge level of coming to understand what their partners did," said Reach Counseling executive director Lyn Sporleder.

What's happening
United Way Fox Cities in 2009 is allocating $38,427 to Reach Counseling's sexual abuse treatment programs.

Connections for Family Safety helps women cope with the problems and stigma they face in their communities, said Kim Hlavka, Reach Counseling's clinic manager and the program's therapist.

Also among the women are mothers of young sexual abuse survivors who are not in relationships with sex offenders.

"Whether they are the mother or the partner or both, one of the things that's really common is from the moment of the disclosure, their relationship with the entire world is turned upside down," Hlavka said.

How it works
The 24-week program includes informational presentations, group therapy and peer support. Reach Counseling bases payment on a sliding fee scale.

"One of the outcomes of the group is everyone completes a pretty thorough safety plan," Hlavka said. "It's individualized for the family and includes prevention strategies, what are the things we need to do to prevent (abuse) from happening. We also talk about what happens if abuse happens again. We encourage both partners to work on this together, and that's an important part of the reunification plan."

Hlavka said her goal is for each woman to emerge feeling more confident and less isolated.

"What I've really seen, one of the things I've heard people report, is the level and quality of communication between the partners has improved," she said.

What's ahead
Sporleder said the nonprofit in 2009 plans to offer more sessions of Connections for Family Safety to take women off a waiting list.

She said the search is on for a building where it can run various groups simultaneously. ..News Source.. by Kara Patterson