SC- Expert Answers Questions About 'Sexting'

11-4-2008 SOuth Carolina:

Last week WYFF News 4's Beth Brotherton talked via satellite with Marian Merritt, a nationally known expert in peer-to-peer porn. Merritt is based in Los Angeles and is a consultant for Symantec, a national computer security software maker. Here is a portion of their conversation about sexting. Sexting is when teens send naked images of themselves to friends over a cell phone.

Q: Is sexting just a high school phenomenon, or is it happening younger?

A: A recent study from UCLA shows that even in elementary school there are requests from sexually oriented photos to be taken and sent. We give our kids a lot of powerful technology and privacy and not a lot of guidance and therein lies the problem.

Q: Any other statistics parents might find surprising?

A: Half of all 12 year olds have cell phones, and 1 in 5 children admit they are doing things on the internet or on their phone that their parents would not approve of.

Q: Is sexting a "perfect storm" of teenage hormones and advanced technology?

A: Social scientists tell us this is part of normal self expression and figuring out who you are, but as a parent I find it a disturbing trend that we need to be more aware of.

Q: Do teens not understand the risks when they send these photos? That even if they remain private during a relationship, after a break up they may become a hurtful tool?

A: Kids don't have the mature adult judgment to think about what might happen after the fact. Ask a young teen if they are in love and they are in love for keeps. By sharing a personal photo they have no idea that if things end private may mean something different to the person on the other end of the phone.

Q: And once its out there, its out there, right?

A: Once a digital element like a photo leaves your computer you've lost all control of it, whether it is changed, where it is published, or whether it is posted on a social networking site and tagged with your name.

Q: Ok, lets talk about laying down the ground rules when it comes to cell phones and teens.

A: The first rule, share the passwords you have on the phone. Mom and dad should know what they are and check often to see if they have been changed. A good argument is for safety. If you are ever lost or kidnapped or something happens to you, one of the best ways for police to track you and get information is knowing passwords to phones and computer accounts.

Q: How else can knowing passwords help?

A: You can check to see how much time is my child spending online or on the cell phone when I think they are in school, or asleep and not using technology.

Q: Any other basic tips?

A: Just because your teen needs a phone, doesn't mean they need one with a camera on it. Buy something basic. Or you can purchase a phone with parental controls. Those controls allow you to turn off the camera feature, or the texting feature, and only allow your child access to make calls.

Q: I've heard you don't like spyware, but do you recommend parents check their teen's inbox?

A: Yes, occasionally with the phone in hand, check the images on there, what has been sent and what has been received? In peer to peer porn we know many kids are receiving these images and don't know what to do with them. They may want, or need, to talk to a parents about what they are seeing, but don't know how.

Q: How do kids get talked into sexting?

A: What you will find is a popular boy in school will get put up to it by a group of friends and he'll send the request to 20 to 30 girls in the class, maybe every girl in class, he's working from the principle that eventually someone will succumb, believing that if I send this photo my social status will go up. We have to train boys and girls how wrong that is.

Q: Where is the best place to have the sexting "talk"?

A: Have "the talk" in the car while you are driving. Kids are more likely to open up staring straight ahead.

Q: Ok, extra credit. If a lot of these photos show up on my facebook and myspace, how do you check for that? I hear some teens set up two accounts, one they show to their parents and one they keep private.

A: Again, this is where passwords come in handy. Plus, its smart to check the "friends" section of the site, if the kids your child hangs out with are not listed there, that is a red flag. Then, check your child's friend's sites, maybe your son or daughter goes by a nickname online. If you find a nickname and do a search perhaps you can locate a second account. ..News Source.. by WYFF4.com